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February 10, 2002
Well, It Could Be....

Dr. Hornschnabel has hypothesized that the torquing effect of thousands of well-drillers, their bits all turning clockwise, has resulted in a twisting of the space-time continuum underlying the continental plate, thereby markedly transforming the climate. According to the good Doctor's theory, global warming could be easily corrected by reversing of the direction of spin of selected drilling rigs across the northern hemisphere. The rigs must be selected with mathematical precision, and the reversals must occur nearly synchronously in order for this to work; otherwise, the observed global warming will be exacerbated instead. Research continues apace.
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